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"........When Change is the Challenge."
Conscious Evolution
Empowerment Systems Newsletter #3
Sorting out the Truth
Rae sat on the floor of her new clients office sorting
through piles of paper and sneezing, realizing that she had
made a mistake. He was not helping her organize his office
as he had agreed to, and furthermore the place was really
filthy. It looked as if the cat litter box had not been
cleaned in months. Yet she had accepted the contract, and as
a businesswoman, she prided herself on keeping her
agreements.
Plotting ways to get herself out of this very unpleasant
situation, Rae thought of a variety of stories she could
tell her client so that he would "forgive" her for not
completing the work he badly needed to have done. She kept
discarding explanations: she wasn't sick (although her
allergies were certainly aggravated by being around the
litter box), no long term client had an emergency and needed
her, she had not accepted a high paying job elsewhere, and
neither of her parents were in the hospital.
Remembering reading my book "What is the Emperor
Wearing? Truth-Telling in Business Relationships" and
decided that lying would probably complicate her life. She
felt telling him the whole truth wouldn't serve any good
purpose either, and decided to tell him a part of the truth
that she thought he could accept. She simply told him "I
can't come back, I am allergic to cats." He didn't argue and
she felt much relieved and proud enough of herself to share
her story with me.
It is a challenge for many people to tell the truth in
business situations. In fact, surveys have shown that most
people lie about three times a day, or about as often as
they eat.. People lie for three main reasons.
1. People are afraid to tell the truth because they may
look weak or foolish, loose face, or get in trouble. Rae
feared this, but it really didn't matter, because she did
not want to have any further relationship with him.
2. They suspect and fear that the very people they
should be communicating with may react badly when they hear
an unpleasant truth. Rae feared this too.
3. Most folks want to be polite and avoid saying or
doing anything that might embarrass someone, so they remain
silent about very important issues. Rae's client still does
not know the other reasons he lost his organizer.
Coaching tip: Explore the reasons why someone is
reluctant to tell the truth. Explore the benefits of telling
the truth. Then make an informed decision.
Copyright 1999, Empowerment Systems. May be
transmitted or reproduced in its entirety only, including
this copyright line.
Jonathan B. Weiss, Ph.D. and Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. have
helped thousands of people make significant changes in their
lives. Working together at Empowerment Systems for 28 of
their 39 years of marriage, they maintain a coaching,
consulting, and psychotherapy practice in Littleton,
Colorado, USA.
Home
Are you a candidate for our new 16-week
Breakthrough
Process(SM)? It's for
people who need to make a BIG change NOW. Email us with a
request for more information.
<weiss@empowermentsystems.com>.
Copyright 1999, Empowerment Systems. May be
transmitted or reproduced in its entirety only, including
this copyright line.
Jonathan B. Weiss, Ph.D. and Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. have
helped thousands of people make significant changes in their
lives. Working together at Empowerment Systems for 28 of
their 39 years of marriage, they maintain a coaching,
consulting, and psychotherapy practice in Littleton,
Colorado, USA.
Home
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